Matthew London

810-395-2363
E-mail: mythew@hotmail.com

OBJECTIVE
To aquire a position in a powerful Global company, insidiously worm my way up the ranks to a position of power, usurp the current leadership and use the company powerbase to take over the world.

WORK EXPERIENCE
Mad Man
6/2000 – Present
Self Employed | Mi
Various attempts at world domination. Insdious plots involving mechanical, chemical, psycological, and just plain weird means. Attempts to raise the dead that have only been sucessfull on Computers. Most recent experiments involve computer technoligy baised on differing power sources, including steam, Nuclear, Darwinian, Murphian, Schlits Malt Liquier-ian, and the ever popular Bungie. COmputer Mod Specialist in Ireverant and unexpected designs. Mad, they called me mad, Insane, Wendle! But I shall show them, SHow them ALL!!!!

Invasion Spearhead
3/1998 – 9/1998
Noltar and the Minions of planet Lagnos | Planet Langos
Conspring against my own, Deception of the public, Infiltration of society, Intigration of Alien beings into the populace of the planet for emminent invasion and take over. Unfortunate Alien alergic reaction to Hostess Twinkies foiled plot.

Prototype Testing
5/2000 – 12/1997
Things Man Was Not Ment To Know Inc. | Mi
Testing of Temporal Convaence devices in Prototype stage. Testing was successfull.

Weilder, Assembler, and Maintenance
3/1995 – 10/1997
The Laboritories of Mad Dr. BoBo and his singing toupe’ | Michigan
Assisted in the construction of giant robots that where to be bent on the destruction of all man kind. However, due to a design flaw in the elctro-kenetic brain, robots sat around in rocking chairs complaining about how their diodes ached, and how it was better “back in the old days”.

Aquisitions and Disposal
6/1993 – 12/1994
Prof. Harold Rocklinfade | Mi
Procuring freasly burried corpses for Prof. Rocklinfades “Ghastly Experiments” from local pet cemmetaries, animal hospitals, veteranary clinics, county pound, and elementary school class rooms. ALso responcable for the disposal of unsucseffull experiments in Bog behind the Mansion.

Assistant Sludge Monster Wrangler
7/1990 – 6/1991

Blodget Chemical Corporation | Mi
Detention and destruction of Sludge creatures created by careless disposal of toxic chemicals that had been accidentaly mixed together. Also resposable for hunting and capturing any creatures that had broken loose from holding pen “On pain of death”.

EDUCATION
Associate Degree,
3/1993
St. Clair COunty COmmunity Colledge for the insane | State:MI
Assc. of Arts and Inhumanities. Subprogram in Mad Science and Alternate “Goofy” physics
High School or equivalent,
6/1990
Capac High School for the insane | Capac, MI

SKILLS

A+ Intermediate
Denile of Reality Expert
Creative Problem Creating Expert
Anoy total strangers in under ten seconds Expert

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I got an email from my cousin with pictures of the candidates and pictures for trains.  It compared Obamma to a sleek super train of the future, Biden as an Amtrak desil, Mcain as an old busted steam locomotive, and palin as Thomas the tank engine fallen off the tracks.

Funny yeah, but I redid it my way with palin as the sleek sexy train, Mcain as the Amtrak workhorse, Bidden as the stuff shirt old steam engine (full of hot air) and Obamma as the toy.

My cousin’s reaction was she couldn’t believe I liked Palin.

So I had to remind her who she was talking too.

This is what I wrote.

Pol’tic’s just make me mad. No one is in touch with the real world in Washington. As far as I’m concerned politicians should start at minimum wage when they get elected, and get a 25 cent raise ever year like real people. Then we might see some action. You miss 3 votes, you missed three days of work, you’re canned, just like normal people.

Reps, Dems, None of them have an actual CLUE as to what the hell’s going on out here. They don’t choose between gas and milk, or milk and medicine. Not a damn one of them could tell me exactly how much a pack of roman noodles costs at the Kroger’s in Imlay City (17 cents) because what we as real people deal with is so far beneath them they would rather go to prison than become an average man on the street.

Vote for me.

I know what you’re going through.

I’m Matt London and I approve of this message, but I damn well don’t approve of the crap we’ve been given as candidates. They’re like lead filled toys from China. They look nice but under the cheap paint they’re poison, every single one of them.

Politics doesn’t SOLVE anything anymore. It just causes animosity and hate between people because “He’s a dem” or “She’s a rep”.

Two cities I would love to see burned to the ground are Detroit and Washington DC. Vaporize them and the occupants and start over with streets of glass as a reminder.

Now I’m all wound up. Where’s Rush Limbaugh. I need someone to really yell at.

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