"I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS."
Mar 31
I’ve got my pitch fork. I got my torch. Where’s the rest of the mob?
->more to come very soon
Categories
(((Movies)))
(((Games)))
(((Register)))
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
Oct 15
So there is this article about Windows 7. It goes on at length about the naming process for the Windows line. Then there is the follow up article, that is the explanation for the naming scheme. Now all I can think of is the Animaniacs singing about Windows Versions.
FIIIIIRRRRSSSSST There was Dos,
That Bill Gates bought
really a steal,
or so we though
Then Apple’s “Lisa”
Showed us a mouse
and soon after
Windows one came out
But it was just and overlay
’cause DOS still ran everything anyway.
And so it was with Windows 3
and 3.11 respectively.
Then came Windows 95 and we all thought that to survive
We must upgrade immediately or we’ll be left behind the scene.
And so we all clambered aboard and purchased Windows number 4
Only to find that right behind would be Windows 98.
Nine-teee-eight!
Oh how we thought that that was great.
Windows Nine-teee-Eight!
We thought it was divine!
But there were bugs and Billy thought
Lets march a new release on out
and so “SE” became the norm
with patches flying like a storm.
The internet was the new big thing
and IE 4 had us on a string,
Outlook express kept our email
And everything seemed good and well.
But Bill would not settle for millions and millions
He really wanted trillion billions
so two os’s came the same year,
but with different names.
We watched the trick of ME with surprise
as it crashed and crumbled before our eyes
But 2000 seemed rather stable and stayed alive,
So they called it Windows 5!
Then came XP! “Just a point release” or so they say,
Win-dows EEECKS-PEEEE! Really saved Old Billy’s day.
We’ll make More MonEEYY! If we put two versions out,
One for work and one for Home!
And so this OS ran and ran
everything working according to plan
but the longevity of the silly thing
screwed up Bills releasing scheme
For Another OS to take it’s place
and boost profits into outer space.
So Bill killed XP, he pulled the plug
and rolled out Windows Vista.
No one knew that Windows 6
would go right down the Shitstah!
Now all eyes look forward to going back
to all that vista seemed to lack
And we can Only hope that Windows 7
Is not “MS Bob Centennial Edition!”
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
Sep 11
I apologize for any inconvenience but I will be unable to answer any emails today due to the universe being destroyed by the CERN Hadron accelerator. Luckily I do have a back up universe, so I should be back up and running as soon as we restore from tape. Many of you will not notice any changes, however some people will experience short term memory loss from data that was not saved before the CERN accelerator was started. In some extreme cases you may become momentarily caught in a temporal loop but this effect should fade as the back up universe finishes installation. In some extreme cases you may become momentarily caught in a temporal loop but this effect should fade as the back up universe finishes installation. In some extreme cases you may become momentarily caught in a temporal loop but this effect should fade as the back up universe finishes installation. If for any reason you experience a microscopic black hole that persists for more than a nano-nanoth of a second contact either NASA or Mork from Ork to have the problem corrected if you haven’t been crushed to death by the gravity of a thousand suns already. Thank you and have a nice day.
Matt London.
"Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk."
Jun 27
Just a quick thought but, do you think the Sith realize they are the bad guys? I mean maybe they think they’re saving the galaxy or something and everone else just doesn’t get them?
Just a thought.
ml
"I felt like poisoning a monk."
Apr 23
I mean Come ON! It’s 08 for cripes sake. We should be long past this sort
of thing. I can forgive not having a flying car, I can look past not having
my own personal jet pack, but the fact that the human race has progressed
this far and not eliminated Mustard Pee, then to me, it’s all waisted.
You know what I mean. You have a sandwich all set, you have crafted a work
of culinary art, and you upend the mustard bottle for that shining yello
topper and you get a stream of water that’s come from god only knows! You
sandwich is awash inj mustard pee. You watch as the bread gets mush, the
meat kind of slimy, the lettus weird, and you can almost hear the musicians
on the deck of the titanic.
It’s the bain of human existance as far as I’m concerned.
Mustard Pee.
Damn you Frenches.
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
Apr 15
Okay this is just a quick rant… One of those “idears” that just comes to me out of the blue (usually when I’m on the pot or in the shower) and usually fades into obscurity before I can get someplace to write it down. This time though, my epiphany struck while I was in the buffer. Weird huh? Guess the buffer needs an adjustment.
Here is my idea for “Campaign Finance Reform”. First of all no more government paychecks for those that hold public office. The government will no longer be responsible for maintaining the pleasures and habits of those who are supposed to be performing a “public service”. This means no more perks either. No more state funded private jets, limousines, or security details. If our leaders want things of that nature, then let them pay for it themselves. It’s not like they don’t have the money.
We all know that it takes lots of coin to win an election, and I think that if you can buy an election, you should be able to pay for the upkeep of the office as well. If you can raise millions of dollars to try and win an election, and you have suckers willing to pay it, then use that money to live off of while you are in office as well. I would much rather pay money to keep my candidate of choice working in their office, than to have to pay outrageous taxes to perpetuate the tom-foolery that is what we call government. The best part is, when the officers start paying their own way, then they get a better idea as to what it takes to actually make a living in this great country. While they are at it, why not have them pay taxes as well, since they are now privately funded and not suckling the teat of the taxes cash cow.
"Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States."
Jan 30
Yes it is.
Unless you’re in Prison, Or over 80.
Or the current president.
Or dead.
Or unemployed with twenty dollars to your name.
Or the writer of this article.
Yes it Is!
These are the word that have been written over and over again on the wall of my cell with a soft lead pencil so that while reading it and you get to a smugged word you think could possibly a different word that might break off into a different, cosmos changing train of thought that could bring enlightenment to the whole of man kind, but it turns out just to me president, or twenty, and you’re forced to keep reading even thought you can’t remember where you stated and you’re pretty sure you’ve already read this wall, but just in case you better go over it.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Did I welcome you back to the Asylum yet?
Welcome then.
(more…)
"I felt like poisoning a monk."
Dec 31
!WARNING! The following will insult everyone in the known universe. The views of the author are those of deranged mad man and should not reflect the views of the owner of this website. So sod off you politically correct little whiny babies. I make Rush Limbaugh look like a kindergarten teacher with the added bonus that I don’t bow to any political party. Nothing is sacred, everything is fair game and, frankly, I don’t care what you think so don’t bother writing a scathing rebuttal because I’m not going to read it and it’ll only go to show you take things to seriously. I’m Crazy. C-R-A-Z-Y. With a capital Cray.
All Right you pestilent son’s of dishes, I’ve mugged an orderly and swiped his uniform and my delusions of grandeur are running in high gear. I’m in charge of this article. I Am the Boss of You. I do, as a Matter of Fact, Own the road, and you, you stinking bit of slime, are back, after only Ten Years, in the Asylum.
It’s a new year. A time for Resolutions, restitution, rebellion, reincarnation, regurgitation, retribution, retro rockets, retro fashions, fashion faux-paus, mental-pause, cat paws, catastrophic hardware failure, and much to the surprise of the owner of this website, I’ve decided that one of my resolutions will be to complete a diatribe for this public forum each month for an entire year. I’ve also resolved to loose a pound a day for the next 365 days and since I don’t weigh 365 pounds it means by this time next year I will have disappeared completely. I’m taking the success of my last years resolution of not eating alkaline batteries as a sign of success in the year to come.
Where to start, where to start?
